The Slam Dunk Rant!!!

I'm really really wondering why the Sports Media, Basketball Fans and Tards who play basketball everywhere make such a huge deal out people getting "dunked on." A play in which the offensive player is a tall guy with great leaping ability dunking on another tall guy with leaping ability but if the defending tall guy touches the other guy or tries to use any force to stop this "embarassment" then he is called for a foul, technical foul or flagerant foul. Which takes away all the coolness of the dunk in my mind. I mean why is a play that is so easy for the offensive player to complete over a handcuffed defender so emasculating? Really people? Really?

I mean I could see the play being a lot cooler if you had to avoid getting checked or tackled. Like in football when a player goes over the middle he risks getting crushed by a linebacker. Or a wing in hockey player risking taking a massive check on the open ice going against a defense man 1 on 1. Or better yet if the defender was allowed to hit you with a Street Fighter 2 Ryu style Au Juken then dunking on people would be bad ass. But again the wussified rules of basketball do not allow the defender to do anything to stop this except put his hand up and attempt a block or sit still and try to take a stupid ass charge that the refs will call if they feel like it unless it's Kobe or Lebron, in which case the ref will forget that charging is a rule and call a block no matter what.

If ESPN continues to glorify a basic play that really doesn't mean anything. I'm hoping they at least start doing the same for other basic plays in sports and we can add the emasculating references too. Here is overeacting to simple basic plays in other sports similar to what the media does for dunking in baskteball.

Football - "Dam Reggie Wayne explodes all over the defensive back by catching that pass. That defensive backs manhood has been threatened! (terrible announcer) I've never seen anyone get catched on like that, dam!!"

Golf - "Tiger sinks a 9 foot put all over Phil Mikelsons ass! Phil just got putted up Putterized!"

Baseball - "Dam the hitter just made contact with that ball, look out pitcher you just got wooded!"(I even got the sexual innuendo in that they use with dunking on that one)

Get the point! Glorifying the dunk looks really lame to people who follow sports where force can be used or applied. Until you change the rules and make it so Lebron has to avoid Dwight Howards flying forearm to his throat when he's trying to dunk I really don't want to hear about how "awesome" dunking is.

The Los Angeles Dodgers and San Francisco Giants and Me, My Sister and My Son

Hello, my name is Kenny Cortinas and I was born April 30th 1981. Try to remember that date. My mother at the time of my birth was a single mom, Navy Veteran and Die Hard Los Angeles Dodgers fan. A funny thing happened that year her favorite team in baseball would go to the World Series and win. The Dodgers would not win another World Series until 1988 seven short years later compared to the wait the Giants would have to endure. Okay so it is now 1988 and The Dodgers are clearly not the best team in the National League. Some would say it was going to take a miracle. Well lets rewind time from October of 1988 to April 30th 1988. Remember I told you to remember that date and I am not finished yet after this one either. So my mom gave birth to my sister Laura on April 30th 1988 and she told my Dad that this meant the Dodgers were going to not only return to the World Series but win it too. We all know the outcome of the 1988 World Series.

Now when the Dodgers won their second World Series in seven years I had already claimed not to like them even though

my mom tried her best to make me a fan. I was a die hard California Angels fan future Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim fan. I forget the year I became a San Francisco Giants fan but I do remember I was still a kid and Barry Bonds was not on the team yet but Will Clark was still playing first base. I was on my grandparents couch watching the Dodgers play the Giants. The game was tied and it was about to go to the 9th inning. I looked over at both my grandfather and grandmother and told them that the winner of this game would become my favorite National League team. The Dodgers had a 1-2-3 inning and now the Giants were up. Bottom of the 9th, two outs, bases loaded, game all tied up. Kevin Gross is on the mound for the Dodgers and Will Clark steps up to the plate. Ball 1, Ball 2, Strike 1, Ball 3, Strike 2...BEAN BALL!! Will Clark takes first base and the man on third comes home to score the game winning run. I looked back over to my grandparents and told them there was no way I could ever root for a team dumb enough to bean in the game winning run and from that day forward I became a Giants fan.

Fast forward again to 2002. I was in the Army stationed at Fort Hood, Texas. The two teams playing in the World Series were my Angels and my Giants. What a dilemma I was in! Who do I choose for? Barry Bonds had become my favorite baseball player but I was an Angels fan first! After the first three games of the 2002 World Series I made the decision that I wanted the Angels to win because I was an Angels fan before I was a Giants fan. The Angels won their first and as of today only World Series Championship. Now the final fast forward of this story. We are going to fast forward 54 years from the last Giants World Series Championship, 8 years since their last World Series appearance and 22 years since someone in my family was born on April 30th. Welcome to present day 2010. My son Nathaniel Edward Cortinas was born on April 30th 2010. It was a planned C-Section but my wife's Doctor would not let us move the date away from April 30th.

My mother is no longer a Los Angeles Dodgers fan but in fact a Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim fan thanks in part to me ditching the Dodgers as soon as I was able to form my own opinions. She will tell you that the Dodgers became stale and un-fun to watch, ad that she had more fun going to games at Angel Stadium than at Dodger Stadium. When I called and told her on that fate filled day to tell her that her fourth grandson was indeed born on April 30th, she told me that either the Dodgers, Angels or Giants would win the World Series. She then said well I was a Dodger fan when it was me so maybe since your a Giants and Angels fan it will only be one of those teams. I told her that if this April 30th thing was true that it would be the San Francisco Giants because after the 2002 World Series I proclaimed it was the Giants turn next no matter what. Well it took the Giants 5 games to dispose of the Texas Rangers to win their first World Series in over five decades. Is this all a coincidence or was it fate? I will let you all decide, me and my family are going to believe it was fate. Your Welcome San Francisco Giants!!