After the Couture Toney fight at UFC 118 every member of the Old White Guy Media Establishment(think of guys like Rick Reilly, half of the blowhards on The Around The Horn Show, almost everyone in sports radio) was quick to say that the fight meant nothing. That years of trash talk by boxers towards MMA wasn't tarnished. The problem is they misunderstand the strategy and technique of world class MMA fighters and how much better equipped they are for a real fight than any boxer. They misunderstand how a sport that has a plethora of endings, strategies, possibilities and packaged like the WWE is so successful. A sport with submissions, stoppages, decisions, knockouts, kicks, choke holds, elbow smashes, armbars, sprawling technique. Is much more exciting than a sport where two guys sit and try to punch each other over and over again mixed in with that hugging stall tactic thing they do.
They've misunderstood the MMA vs Boxing debate as much as you can misunderstand a subject. The old white media is saying the fight didn't prove anything. The Randy Couture James Toney fight proved years of boxers saying they could knock out any MMA fighter in less than 10 seconds was just that, talk. To paraphrase something I saw on Sherdog.com, the point of prizefighting is to see who the toughest man in the room is. An MMA fight is much closer to a real fight than a Boxing match ever would be and the MMA guy won decisively. They misunderstand that the Toney Couture fight proved the MMA guys are the toughest dudes in the room, the point of both friggin sports, I'm pretty sure of that at least. They misunderstand in terms of excitement and significance of a real fight is MMA is NBA Basketball and Boxing is Horse in the driveway. They really really really misunderstand that MMA is much much safer than Boxing, Football and Hockey but that's not the point here, the point is to bitch about the media!!
They misunderstand that the public(for the most part) has upgraded and moved on to a better more exciting product. Maybe the old white guy media will understand when Floyd Mayweather Jr gets destroyed by Diego Sanchez or BJ Penn in 30 seconds in 5 years because he's desperate for a big payday once boxing has officially died. I'm really going to enjoy that.
Sunday, August 29, 2010
Saturday, August 28, 2010
FANTASY FOOTBALL 2010 - STOP TAKING IT SO SERIOUS?
Never, never have I seen grown men sit around a table so serious, excited, gitty in my life. I can imagine this is how Bernie Madoff felt every morning when he opened up his bank account information for the last 15 years(bastard). So where was I? My first fantasy draft of the 2010 season. You see I am in three of these leagues, a little much but screw it because my expectation is to win all of these leagues and get paid! One thing I learned last night though, is that I'm not terribly crazy! All of the guys in my league are just as serious as me! It may be fantasy, but to the 12 men in that back yard last night, it was reality. We may not be busting our ass to make that tackle or throwing that touchdown pass, but we are emotionally invested in every game, every Sunday. We may not make a difference but most important is that we feel we do. So this year I will not stop taking the "game" serious because quite frankly I do make a difference! How? The friendships we make, the crap we talk, the pride we carrier, the competitiveness we get out of our system. You can't find that anywhere else. NUFF SAID.... Written by Andrew, posted by Jeff under Jeff's screen name. We'll get the multiple authors thing figured out, eventually.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
The Sanity Rating
(Warning the following post may be a tad sexist, it is written in good fun I assure you)
Most women are crazy and sports video games are awesome! My thirty years on the planet has taught me that women are nuts in a variety of ways each and every day. To paraphrase stand up comic Whitney Cummings, most men cannot fathom the level of crazy most women are. Sports video games on the other hand are not crazy, they're more like packaged awesomeness in electronic form. I love them all Madden, NCAA Football, NBA Live, Fifa Soccer, Tiger Woods etc.(except for tennis games, way too much unnecessary button pushing).
In games like Madden and NBA Live every player is rated on a scale of 1 to 99 in various categories such as speed, agility, jumping, etc. To determine how good of a player they are in there given game and sport. Well we here at SWG have determined that every woman on the planet needs to be issued a sanity rating. A 99 sanity rating would be like the Michael Jordan of female sanity or a female version of Spock from Star Trek(yes I made a Star Trek reference, keep the dork jokes to a minimum please) this would be a really rare find, like a wild sasquatch. A 1 would be Lindsay Lohan in our mascot picture up above. The staff at SWG believes that most women fall in the 20 to 60 category numbers of sanity.
The reason why a sanity rating would be so useful is it would really be helpful for dating purposes and day to day living. For instance you meet a cool girl at a social event or the gym and you want to ask her out. You look up her sanity rating and a 19 comes back. Asking that chick out is probably not a good idea because 20 and below is like Britney Spears circa 2007 crazy and most guys don't want to deal with that level of crazy. Or if you work with a girl who you found out was say a 9, probably not a good idea to piss that chick off.
With the sanity rating you would know off the bat what you were getting yourself into right off the bat and who you were in fact dealing with. In fact here is a scale of the sanity rating. Keep in mind most girls fall between a 20 and 60.(Keep in mind the rating can fluctuate too but that's too much to process right now)
Female Sanity Ratings Scale
99 to 90 - Exceptional
89 to 80 - Good
79 to 60 - Above Average
59 to 20 - Average
19 to 1 - Batshit Insane Crazy
Notable examples of female sanity ratings
99 The female Vulcan from the Star Trek Enterprise Show(while technically this doesn't count, couldn't think of another example so I had to run with a fictional character)
74 Jennifer Aniston
65 1999 Britney Spears
51 My wife
39 Sandra Bullock
28 Tiger Woods Ex Wife
20 Angelina Jolie(crazy Angelina is always barely hanging onto full sanity she's been a 20)
14 Strippers
11 2007 Britney Spears
3 Crazy Old Cat Ladies
2 Female Porn Stars
1 Lindsay Lohan
There you have it, embrace the sanity rating and make the world a better place.
Most women are crazy and sports video games are awesome! My thirty years on the planet has taught me that women are nuts in a variety of ways each and every day. To paraphrase stand up comic Whitney Cummings, most men cannot fathom the level of crazy most women are. Sports video games on the other hand are not crazy, they're more like packaged awesomeness in electronic form. I love them all Madden, NCAA Football, NBA Live, Fifa Soccer, Tiger Woods etc.(except for tennis games, way too much unnecessary button pushing).
In games like Madden and NBA Live every player is rated on a scale of 1 to 99 in various categories such as speed, agility, jumping, etc. To determine how good of a player they are in there given game and sport. Well we here at SWG have determined that every woman on the planet needs to be issued a sanity rating. A 99 sanity rating would be like the Michael Jordan of female sanity or a female version of Spock from Star Trek(yes I made a Star Trek reference, keep the dork jokes to a minimum please) this would be a really rare find, like a wild sasquatch. A 1 would be Lindsay Lohan in our mascot picture up above. The staff at SWG believes that most women fall in the 20 to 60 category numbers of sanity.
The reason why a sanity rating would be so useful is it would really be helpful for dating purposes and day to day living. For instance you meet a cool girl at a social event or the gym and you want to ask her out. You look up her sanity rating and a 19 comes back. Asking that chick out is probably not a good idea because 20 and below is like Britney Spears circa 2007 crazy and most guys don't want to deal with that level of crazy. Or if you work with a girl who you found out was say a 9, probably not a good idea to piss that chick off.
With the sanity rating you would know off the bat what you were getting yourself into right off the bat and who you were in fact dealing with. In fact here is a scale of the sanity rating. Keep in mind most girls fall between a 20 and 60.(Keep in mind the rating can fluctuate too but that's too much to process right now)
Female Sanity Ratings Scale
99 to 90 - Exceptional
89 to 80 - Good
79 to 60 - Above Average
59 to 20 - Average
19 to 1 - Batshit Insane Crazy
Notable examples of female sanity ratings
99 The female Vulcan from the Star Trek Enterprise Show(while technically this doesn't count, couldn't think of another example so I had to run with a fictional character)
74 Jennifer Aniston
65 1999 Britney Spears
51 My wife
39 Sandra Bullock
28 Tiger Woods Ex Wife
20 Angelina Jolie(crazy Angelina is always barely hanging onto full sanity she's been a 20)
14 Strippers
11 2007 Britney Spears
3 Crazy Old Cat Ladies
2 Female Porn Stars
1 Lindsay Lohan
There you have it, embrace the sanity rating and make the world a better place.
Sunday, August 22, 2010
Welcome, Welcome
Welcome to Stiff White Guy, the blog that takes a comical approach to The NBA, NFL, Pro Wrestling Universes(Yeah WWE I stole your bit). Now I know it seems that pretty much every male in the United States and Canada between the ages of 11 and 47 has a Sports Blog these days, I'm just hoping we can add a more sophomoric, less ESPNy approach to things. In reality we're probably just going to be another group of Stiff White Guys bitching about sports and other things that really don't matter. As stated above the main focus at SWG is mostly going to be a satirical semi serious look at the NBA, NFL and world of Pro Wrestling. Sometimes MLB, Pop Culture, Politics and a few other subjects may get thrown into the fire. For the most part we're going to be sticking to what we know because sadly the NBA, NFL and Pro Wrestling are three of the five subjects in this world that we know best.
On an official note, I'm sure a lot of you are wondering about the name? The name is an homage to the Caucasian Living Legends of the NBA such as Joe Kleine, Greg Ostertag and Chris Mihm. Who were good at fouling, boxing out, being slow and lumbering, taking up space, getting dunked on, being tall and um um not much else. We're even tinkering with the idea of establishing a stiff white guy hall of fame. So here at Stiff White Guy we're celebrating the legacies of people nobody wants to celebrate the legacies of. Players who provided us with so much unintentional comedy and easy jokes throughout the years. So please come back because I am really looking forward to being another hack blogger on the Internets.
On an official note, I'm sure a lot of you are wondering about the name? The name is an homage to the Caucasian Living Legends of the NBA such as Joe Kleine, Greg Ostertag and Chris Mihm. Who were good at fouling, boxing out, being slow and lumbering, taking up space, getting dunked on, being tall and um um not much else. We're even tinkering with the idea of establishing a stiff white guy hall of fame. So here at Stiff White Guy we're celebrating the legacies of people nobody wants to celebrate the legacies of. Players who provided us with so much unintentional comedy and easy jokes throughout the years. So please come back because I am really looking forward to being another hack blogger on the Internets.
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