The Sanity Rating

(Warning the following post may be a tad sexist, it is written in good fun I assure you)

Most women are crazy and sports video games are awesome! My thirty years on the planet has taught me that women are nuts in a variety of ways each and every day. To paraphrase stand up comic Whitney Cummings, most men cannot fathom the level of crazy most women are. Sports video games on the other hand are not crazy, they're more like packaged awesomeness in electronic form. I love them all Madden, NCAA Football, NBA Live, Fifa Soccer, Tiger Woods etc.(except for tennis games, way too much unnecessary button pushing).

In games like Madden and NBA Live every player is rated on a scale of 1 to 99 in various categories such as speed, agility, jumping, etc. To determine how good of a player they are in there given game and sport. Well we here at SWG have determined that every woman on the planet needs to be issued a sanity rating. A 99 sanity rating would be like the Michael Jordan of female sanity or a female version of Spock from Star Trek(yes I made a Star Trek reference, keep the dork jokes to a minimum please) this would be a really rare find, like a wild sasquatch. A 1 would be Lindsay Lohan in our mascot picture up above. The staff at SWG believes that most women fall in the 20 to 60 category numbers of sanity.

The reason why a sanity rating would be so useful is it would really be helpful for dating purposes and day to day living. For instance you meet a cool girl at a social event or the gym and you want to ask her out. You look up her sanity rating and a 19 comes back. Asking that chick out is probably not a good idea because 20 and below is like Britney Spears circa 2007 crazy and most guys don't want to deal with that level of crazy. Or if you work with a girl who you found out was say a 9, probably not a good idea to piss that chick off.

With the sanity rating you would know off the bat what you were getting yourself into right off the bat and who you were in fact dealing with. In fact here is a scale of the sanity rating. Keep in mind most girls fall between a 20 and 60.(Keep in mind the rating can fluctuate too but that's too much to process right now)

Female Sanity Ratings Scale
99 to 90 - Exceptional
89 to 80 - Good
79 to 60 - Above Average
59 to 20 - Average
19 to 1 - Batshit Insane Crazy


Notable examples of female sanity ratings

99 The female Vulcan from the Star Trek Enterprise Show(while technically this doesn't count, couldn't think of another example so I had to run with a fictional character)
74 Jennifer Aniston
65 1999 Britney Spears
51 My wife
39 Sandra Bullock
28 Tiger Woods Ex Wife
20 Angelina Jolie(crazy Angelina is always barely hanging onto full sanity she's been a 20)
14 Strippers
11 2007 Britney Spears
3 Crazy Old Cat Ladies
2 Female Porn Stars
1 Lindsay Lohan

There you have it, embrace the sanity rating and make the world a better place.